Every once in a while, I find it particularly compelling to collect and collate my thoughts into some linear narrative - some kind of flowing stream of sentiment that encapsulates my philosophies, my thoughts and ideals and most importantly, the very essence of what I am - of who I am.
However, as much as I try to bring order to what is most certainly chaos; a deep, swirling, dark and revolving storm inside the eye of my mind, I can't. Perhaps memories are made of such things. Perhaps thoughts are not meant to be interpreted, assigned, categorised, or manipulated. Perhaps it is the stream of human conscience that gives meaning to all life. Perhaps we will never know.
This week I took a step outside of politics, and intrepidly walked those few bold steps back into poetry, for my own mind which seems to have found itself craving the other-worldly delights of such imaginative works of the mind, of art and of fine beauty. As much as I find myself wandering illuminated - fascinated and enthralled by what is one of my most favoured and important subjects; politics, it is poetry that captivates me, swallowing and catching me like a cushioned parachute whenever I need it to. It envelopes me like a cradling mother who seeks to offer reassurance to her child, it always has. Samuel Taylor Coleridge always beckons me back; alongside Wordsworth and De La Mare. They all offer me solace, in a world of many evils, of injustices and of unwelcome truths - I lap up their writings like those who enjoy the writings that lie within the most popular book in the world, The Bible. It was their works that gave me the strength to wrestle with my own ideals and decide that I want to change the world for the better, to use my skills to offer those who cannot, the chance to believe, to think, and to change. Because together we can change the world...
Curiously, I bumped into, alongside a few good friends, a Mormon in town a few days ago. The first thing she said was "Hello there, would all of you like the answer?" Naturally, my friends and I replied that we would indeed like an answer, to what we did not know. She gave us a card and said, have a look at this website. I still to this moment haven't done so - I think the card found its way to a royal mail post box nearby. Although the sentiment of the ladies' actions remain in my mind - not so much that she had the answer to my questioning of life and the philosophy surrounding it; but that she thought that she had found the answer. Whether I believed it or not, she felt that she had found what we are all looking for; and for that I was truly glad - in fact, I wish I had too.
The answer for me, I think, won't come to me, until my life is full. By that I mean, that I have accomplished my key goal in life, to love another as much as others have loved me. For now, I'm still working on that - but on some days (some more than others) I feel that I'm getting somewhere with it. Of course, I love my family and I love my friends, but collectively, that love is hard to repay. One day, I think I will - but for now, I stand indebted to them all...
We all make our own journeys, we all decide our own destinies and make our own fortunes. I've yet to find answers to many of my most probing and unanswered of questions. But what is life, if not a journey? To do what I used to do quite frequently, I shall conclude with a single quote... and ask you all to reflect on those around you for just a short moment, because life itself is made of these two things...
"Love is flower like; Friendship is like a sheltering tree..."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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