A different kind of Christmas

So here we are again, another Christmas, another month of frantic present buying and prayer for the speedy deliveries of Royal Mail (...or not!) and here I am writing possibly one of the last blogs of 2010.

What a strange year it's been. People, places... predicaments. Perhaps its fair to say that my life can be separated into just two segments so far; the times before these and the times after. 2010 has been a benchmark year. People seem to think that you grow and advance on the dawn of your birthday. At 18, you suddenly become 'responsible' and 'adult'... there are many people I know who still don't deserve such a title... Myself included. The Peter Pan of my friends and my classmates, I've never wanted to 'grow up'. All of my favourite things ask for my creativity, my passion and excitement. If you become an adult... I think these things can get lost in the ether.

I've met both people I've come to respect enormously, and people I've come to detest in equal amounts. I don't like pasts... I don't like previous encounters... I like to be able to start fresh. So why does that matter? Well, this year, I've lived differently. I've become dependent and attached. Once that happens, its hard to separate. You return to home, and its like returning to the age of 16. I think this must have been how Harry Potter felt after exploring the wizard world; and then being shoved into the cupboard under the stairs. I'm not imprisoned or limited, but I am lacking a certain part of me. Its as if you stop playing 'happy families' for a month and re-enter childhood. I don't like it! Whilst I long to be back in that familiar independent atmosphere, I want to bring the aspects of what make Winchester so amazing home but can't. Perhaps being so close is not as exciting as I may once have believed. The distance apart can sometimes be a good thing; knowing that there is no possible way to change anything. But, when you're so close to such a different world... its not the same. Harry Potter, I know how you feel.